I wanted to touch base on a few things…
If you happen to follow me on Instagram, you know that I have A LOT of fitness and gym posts. It’s true, I love fitness and working out and I am always trying to learn and grow within the industry; but, I feel it is important to also mention why I got so connected to fitness, and it’s a reason I feel does not get discussed enough.
A few years back, the years I refer to as my “dark days” I was not in a good place. I was depressed, lonely (even though I had a lot of loving friends), I gained a ton of weight, and I made a lot of bad decisions with my life. As I mentioned in a previous post, the compound of all that was going on in my life landed me in the hospital- overweight and the threat of potentially going blind (see post here). To me, this was all I needed to kick-start my ass to do something, however, it is not always that “easy” for everyone.
That brings me back to the topic of this post… I turned to fitness as my outlet, my escape, my therapy… it was way more than just about weight loss. My mental health was suffering, I was not myself. Mental health is just as important, if not more, as your physical health and recognizing that is a lot of times step one. In honor of Mental Health Awareness month, I wanted to talk about my experience as well as give some facts on the topic.
Mental health issues affect one in five American adults. That is 20% of the American adult population… that number is HUGE! Mental health issues include more than just anxiety, depression, ADD, eating disorders… the list is almost infinite. Some issues are easier to notice than others, but just know if something does not feel right- you are not alone!
In the beginning of my “dark days” I did try therapy, and I HATED it. I did not have a good experience, and it honestly made me never want to go back. So instead, I turned to other “outlets”- food, partying, sleep, etc. I became extremely unhealthy, lost friends, dropped out of college, I was quite literally a mess. Everyone is different, but to me, this was rock bottom… I did not know where to turn, and then the hospital happened. After the hospital incident I started making small changes here and there. I tackled my physical health first. I got a trainer, I changed my diet (cut out the dreaded fast food), I stopped the excessive partying, and I cut some toxic people from my life. These were steps that I myself needed to make first. Flash forward 5 months and I met my now husband. Dating him really opened my eyes to the mental issues that I had- the issues I chose not to see. I physically was in shape, but mentally I was still a mess.
It took a LONG time to convince myself to go back to counseling, even now it isn’t always easy. My husband definitely helped motivate me to want to go. What I was going through not only wasn’t fair to myself… it definitely was not fair to him. Another thing I learned is it needs to be YOUR decision to seek help. Therapy/counseling is very personal, and you yourself need to want it and be comfortable with the process. I ultimately think that is why I didn’t have a good experience my first time around. Having dealt with depression my whole life in one way or another (my mother and sister both had severe depression), I went into therapy knowing what I DIDN’T want, so I was not completely open minded. It also didn’t help that I went to a counselor on my college campus, where they recorded me for student research and after my first session, he told me medicine may be my best option. Now I have nothing against medicine, and I know it is a necessity for a lot of people, but I just knew it wasn’t something I wanted to try- there had to be another way. So, I talked to my friends, and I got a recommendation to a counselor they thought I would really like. The next step, picking up the phone to call and make an appointment, to me was the hardest part. However, once it was done there was no turning back.
Finding the right counselor/therapist isn’t always easy, but its ok to try out different people. Trust your instincts, do what feels right to YOU. There is the right person out there for you, even if it takes time… you will find them! Talking to someone sometimes is all you may need, but its important to remember that our loved ones cannot always be that person for us. Seek a professional who can better suit your needs, and who is there solely for you.
Something that I am learning in this process is that priority #1 in life needs to be taking care of yourself and your mental well-being first. This is something that I still constantly struggle with. I always want to make everyone else happy and be there to take care of those in need, but something I know (and am learning to try and follow) is that you cannot make somebody else happy when deep down you are not happy yourself. With approximately one in ten young people experiencing a period of major depression, again I will say that we are not alone.
I still have a long way to go, I have quite a bit of baggage… but even just writing this post is a BIG step for me. My “issues” aren’t something that many people know about me, I fake a smile and go about my day. But I also realize that I should share my experience. People should know that there are others out there going through the same things they are going through. Life isn’t just about the perfect Instagram posts, that is simply a minor blip in someones life they want you to see. Mental Health is a major issue in today’s society, and it needs to be talked about. So, feel free to share this post, comment, like, save for later as a reminder that I am here with you. Just remember… you never know what someone may be going through. Be kind, be friendly, offer a smile and don’t judge others.
XO
Just a handful of my amazing support system! 🙂
p.s. I linked two amazing sites within the post if you are looking for more information. And if you are looking for a place to start, or need help finding a counselor in your area, check out this site.
